Ep 64. How to stop taking low engagement personally

This topic came up in my Silent Storm coaching call, and I thought it was worth talking about here because I know it happens to so many of us.

The thing she wanted to change while we were working together was separating herself from her content. She didn’t want to think, “Oh no, no one’s liked this, so that must mean that no one likes me,” and then get discouraged and not post at all for ages. She wanted to look at her social media results in the way that she looks at her website stats, which is getting curious about the data and not making it personal. But I know most of us do the opposite with social media, because it does feel a bit more personal, right?

I’ll hold my hands up, I’ve done the screen refreshing and then had the urge to delete something because it wasn’t getting any love. Because you’ve spent time on it and you’re putting yourself out there, it’s easy to think they don’t like me if no one interacts with it.

But it’s not that. It could literally be anything. It could be that the algorithm hasn’t shown your post to that many people, or your ideal clients weren’t online that day. And as I always say, people are still looking without reacting.

[00:00:48] Content is an experiment, not a verdict

So the more content you create, the more data you get. If you try one angle and it really works, they like that way of saying it, so you do more of that. If another angle isn’t quite right, that’s just data as well, because it’s not “they didn’t like me”, it’s more “maybe I need to tweak something”.

If you don’t post anything, you’re not going to know. So the mindset I want you to have is that content is an experiment. Each post is just a piece of data. It’s not a verdict on you.

[00:01:19] Know what each post is for

Now, to treat something as data, you need to know what you’re measuring against, and I think this is where a lot of people go wrong as well. If you don’t know what the post is for, as in do you want it to grow your audience, are you using it to nurture, or is it to sell something, likes tend to become the default scoreboard. And to be honest, they’re the weakest signal you’re going to get.

So before you judge anything, ask yourself what the purpose of social media is in your business, or if it’s not social media, the purpose of the content you’re posting wherever you’re posting it.

For me, social media is there to get me visible and get people onto my email list. So when a post goes quiet, I’m not asking whether people liked it, I’m looking at whether it’s putting me in front of anyone new. So am I getting new followers, and has anyone signed up to my list or listened to this podcast, for example? If they did any of those things, then it’s working, even if it looks like, quote unquote, “nothing” in terms of engagement, because it’s not nothing if people are signing up from a link in your bio or in your DMs.

Your goals might be different. The point is to decide what your social media is for, because then you know what to look at. So a post with six likes that sends three people to your email list has done its job. A post with 200 likes that sends nobody anywhere is a nice feeling, but not much else. Because we’re all about making your content work for you, and by work, I mean get clients, right?

[00:02:33] The quieter signals that matter more than likes

So the signals you’re looking for are actually quieter than likes. It’s things like, did anyone reply? Did someone DM you about it? Did a client mention it on a call? Did someone save it? Did your reach go up, or did more people visit your profile?

And then there are the people who never engage at all. They’ll watch you for weeks and then land in your DMs or on a call and say they’ve been following you for ages. I’ve had loads of those. If I’d been judging my content on likes and let that stop me from posting, I promise you I would have missed about 90% of my clients. So that’s really what encourages me to keep going, because I know people are watching even though they’re not engaging, and it’s probably the same for you too.

[00:03:09] Ask yourself better questions

The other thing that helps is asking different questions. When something goes quiet, the first question in your head is probably, “What does that say about me?” And that one never goes anywhere helpful. So try these instead. What was the post for? Did it do that, even a little bit? And what could you change or try next time?

That last one doesn’t need to be big. You can try a different hook, or try the same idea as a carousel instead of a reel, or the other way around. Or you can try a different call to action, or write in a different style, maybe a bit more personal or a bit more practical. But just change one thing at a time. If you change the hook, the format and the posting time all at once, you’re not going to know which one made the difference, and that’s what makes it an experiment rather than just throwing spaghetti at the wall.

We’re basically looking for patterns, to see what’s encouraging people to do the thing that helps you reach your goal. Sometimes the answer is that it did exactly what you needed it to do, but you just didn’t notice. And if it didn’t, you’ve still got something to work with, rather than making it a story about yourself.

[00:04:04] A five-minute weekly review

If you want to make this low lift, just do a five-minute review once a week. Look at what you posted and see which one got the most replies or DMs, which one got you some followers, and which one got you link taps, so you can start to create a picture of the type of content that’s working for you.

And then close the app. That’s the important bit. If you’ve got a set time to look, you don’t need to be checking every two seconds. Because when you’ve got a set time to look at the data and you’re in that headspace, you’ll look with more of a scientist mindset rather than an “Oh my God, this makes me feel like crap” mindset.

And also, try not to go straight from checking your own stats to scrolling everyone else’s, because you’re going to be comparing your stuff to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, and that’s not data. It’s just a way to make you feel rubbish. And you know that, right? That’s a whole other episode.

[00:04:44] Try this this week

So this week, pick one post that didn’t do what you hoped for, and ask yourself the three questions. What was it for? Did it do that? And what would I change? And just see what comes up.

So I hope that helped. If it did, I’d love it if you’d follow, rate and share it with another introvert who’s been taking their posts a bit too personally. I think they’d really appreciate it. Until next time, keep building your quiet confidence so you can make a loud impact, and I’ll speak to you soon.